Monday, 16 December 2013

Love is a Decision

There is love and then there is LOVE.  

I love smooth dark chocolate, I love my home made burgers and I absolutely love sunshine ray yellow on me.  These things make me happy. But then I love my son; I love to see him happy, I love to see him flourish, I love to see him smile and I love to see others recognise him for all that he is and can share with the world.  I'd give up dark chocolate, home made burgers, sunflower yellow and a load of other things to experience the joy of him.  In fact I've already given up a lot of what I 'love' for that .  I'm not saying that I liked giving things up, but I'm saying I would do it and did it. I'd make and I've made those decisions.


It might be a tough pill to swallow but when you make the decision to love, you make a decision to give in to a force that commands your self-sacrifice.  More than likely it's going to be much more than your favourite food, clothes or hobby that you will have to give up.  Sometimes a complete adjustment is required and no matter how evolved we may think we are, we don't look forward to complete adjustments.  We like things the way they are or the way we 'always pictured they would be'.

Maybe we instinctively know that true love is sacrificial.  It is as exceedingly demanding as it is tremendously rewarding. But being petrified of the sacrifice part means that so many times we deny ourselves love; we run the other way looking for euphoria - you know, the 'high' you feel when you take a bite into that favourite food, like me and my dark chocolate.  We desperately want to control the balance between loss (sacrifice), and feeling on top of the world in a series of euphoric moments. But while love is a decision we can make, it isn't a force we can control.  It demands to be in control and it will stop at nothing.

Relentless in its pursuit for our souls, this thing we call love instructs the impossible and drives the questionable, but inevitably it insists on self-sacrifice.  We have to lose ourselves to gain ourselves in love and we have to lose ourselves to the service of others.  But what ultimately compels us to love is the self-fulfilment that is born out of the labour of self-sacrifice.

Our real challenge is discerning whether we're answering the true love call or trying to simulate the ultimate feelings of euphoria and fulfilment.  We can definitely get addicted to the feelings that love generates and sometimes we try to recreate or create scenarios just to have those feelings. In those cases we are self-serving; we really just by-pass the love call to get to 'the good part' and the 'feel good' outcome won't last long. 

The truth about LOVE is that it is a response to the call serve others in spite of obstacles, in spite of what you have to give up.  This is the beginning of the true love journey.  If you have problem with that you have problem with love.

Are you ready to make the love decision?

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